Wednesday, February 29, 2012

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things, Which I Don't Happen to Have Access to Right Now

So. Lots of people ask me what I miss since moving to India. Since I've spent ample time whining about how much I miss my friends (But Mooooommm, I miss my friieends. That was an Eric Cartman reference. Kind of hard to translate that tone of voice into text), let's move on to less metaphysical things, shall we? Anyhow. One of the things that I really miss is bacon. Yep, you read right, bacon. Now, before you accuse me of being one of those trendy foody freaks (which would be right in almost any other context than this one), I'm not a huge fan of bacon. I like it every once in a while for breakfast. I'm definitely not one of those folks who think that bacon is the holy grail of food and should be combined with everything. I'm looking at you bacon chocolate chip cookies. That is just wrong. 

Just Wrong.  

There aren't many Indians who view pigs as an acceptable food source. This is due to a combination of religious and traditional ideals, combined with the fact that pigs are dirty, dirty animals. So as you can imagine, bacon (or any other porcine product) is not a food that is readily available. I have a theory that I could possibly find it at a trendy, expensive import store, but I've never bothered to try. However, I just don't shop at those places because, well, they're just trendy and expensive. I'm all about the authentic.Unfortunately, bacon is one of those foods that once you get a yen in your head for it, there really aren't any other acceptable substitutes. I have yet to find anything related to turkeys either, so turkey bacon is out. And yes, the irony of a craving for one of the symbols of American overindulgence and gluttony does not escape me here. 

Another thing I miss is pre-cleaned, pre-packaged anything. Well, more specifically spinach. The rest of the veggies I can deal with. You do have to give them a good soak in salt water to remove bugs/pesticides/dirt, but spinach is one of those veggies that never gets truly clean in that way. Every single thing that I've made with spinach has been gritty, and I hate it. I love spinach. I long for a day when I can walk into a freezer section and grab a buttload of spinach and just use it for cooking, instead of buying about 8 bundles of spinach (that stuff shrinks when you cook it yo!), failing at cleaning it, and then not wanting to eat the gritty results of whatever I cooked. 

Looks Nutritious, is Actually just Dirty

                                     Looks Nutritious, is Actually Clean AND nutritious.

Another travesty is the lack of dried cranberries here. We have just about every other dried fruit I can think of, but not my favorites. My oatmeal will never be the same.

So all in all, it turns out I just miss a few selected processed foods. We don't have a lot of processed anything here besides Indian snacks, which I'm sure is a pretty positive thing. I still want me some bacon though!


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